Song Book

Naughty Santa Songs for caroling… Learn them… know them… Sing them! (Print and bring to the Crawl!)

Song Book

We’ve found some Festive Songs for Caroling… Learn them… know them… Sing them! (Print and bring to the Crawl!)

SANTA IS INVADING YOUR TOWN

You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I’m telling you why
Santa is coming to town
He sees you when you’re naked
And when you’re smoking pot
And when you’re masturbating
Ev’n when you cop a squat,
so: You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I’m telling you why
Santa is coming to town
Santa is coming to town

LET IT FLOW (tune of “Let It Snow”)

The weather outside is frightful, but the beer inside’s delightful. 

And since we’ve no place to go,
Let it Flow, Let it Flow, Let it Flow!
Oh we show no signs of stopping, and now we’re really buzzing. 

And the lights are turned way down low.

Let it Flow, Let it Flow. Let it Flow!!
When we finally drink it dry, how we hate going back to the store. 

Maybe we’ll all get high, and all fall asleep on the floor!!
Oh the party is slowly dying.
And our friends have all stopped buying.
Now my bladder really wants to know.
Where to go, Where to go, Where to go??? 

JUST ANOTHER SANTA RAMPAGE (tune of “Winter Wonderland”)

Drunken Santas, will be reelin.
No pain will they be feelin!
Red suits will be stained,
from the booze that they’ve drained.
Just another Santa Rampage!!
You can tell, they’ve been drinking,
Pretty soon, they’ll be stinkin’
Drunk as a mule, with a beard full of drool
Just another Santa Rampage!!
Have you ever seen this many Santas?
Stumblin and a’ lookin like a fool?
Don’t you wish that you could be a Santa?
Smokin and a’ drinkin, being cool?
Why we’re out here, is Just Because!
We are rebels, with a Claus.
So grab a suit and beard.
Come on and get weird
Join us on a Santa Rampage!

Santacon stops!

Dec. 21st, 6PM at Mango’s Las Olas for the biggest South Florida Santacon yet! 
Our stops include:

  • Mangos,
  • American Social,
  • Yogurt Ur Way,
  • Vibe,
  • The Downtowner Saloon,
  • Tarpon Bend,
  • The Public House,
  • Capone’s,
  • Sweet Nectar,
  • America’s backyard

for specials and everywhere else in between for fun! and possible goodies handed out at 1 or two spots!

Public Service announcement

 Santacon Ft Lauderdale is this Saturday!! We have more RSVPs than ever So here’s a reminder on how to NOT be a Douche n have the most fun EVERRRR

THE FOUR F**KS OF SANTACON:

  • Don’t f**k with kids
  • Don’t f**k with cops
  • Don’t f**k with security
  • Don’t f**k with Santa. (it’s okay to f**k Santa)

Note: ”f**k” is used here in place of the word “f**k

We have done this because we were concerned that visitors to the site might be offended by the use of the word “f**k" explicitly.

———————————————

  1. You MUST address everyone as “Santa.”
  2. You SHOULD “ho-ho-ho” like Santa.
  3. You OUGHT to give out gifts like Santa.
  4. You MIGHT want to drink like Santa

—————————————-

SANTACON GUIDELINES:

  1. Santa does not make children cry. Really, if you see kids, don’t do anything to freak them out. Give them a nice smile and possibly a gift of some kind (toys, candy etc). Parents and tourists are a different matter altogether - adjust your behavior based on their attitude.
  2. Santa dresses for all occasions. It’s December. Smart santas wear multiple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing Christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole in a hot nightclub.
  3. Santa doesn’t whine! We will be outside a lot and commuting mainly on foot - bring enough “snacks” to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.
  4. Bring gifts: NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at people is discouraged no matter who they are. YES THAT INCLUDES POLITICIANS. But giving out coal might actually be appreciated.
  5. Watching santa get drunk and rowdy is fun. Babysitting santa while he vomits in an alley is not. Don’t be that santa.
  6. Make sure you always pay for your beer and tip the bar staff. We want to be able to do this again so be polite and cultivate the goodwill of the local community.
  7. Please pay for your drinks as soon as you get them. Santas get tired of waiting on other santas to clear their tab before being able to move on. This entire adventure should be cash only.
  8. "No santa’s left behind!" Don’t think only of yourself - Santa is not inconsiderate of his fellow santas like that. Pick a few people you know and keep an eye out for them when it’s time to move to the next location. If you don’t see them, speak up so other santas know to wait a moment. Every santa should have at least 2-3 other santas they look out for and 2-3 that look out for them in turn.
  9. Stay with the group. It’s not just a case of “the more, the merrier” - Santa is safer with large numbers of fellow santas and what one santa can’t achieve (or get away with) is a possibility for 50 or more!
  10. Dress up! You don’t have to dress exactly like Santa. In fact, unusual interpretations of Santa-ness are much appreciated, both by those we bring joy to - as well as your fellow santas: elves, reindeer themes etc. are fine as well!
  11. Please remember that this is all about having fun. Most santas like to take their fun with a little alcohol which is fine. What is not fine, however, is getting completely sh#t-faced to the point that santas end up being abusive or violent. Remember that there is no “bail fund” for incarcerated santas and if you cross the line you’ll be on your own.
  12. Santa doesn’t drink & drive and neither should you. If you’re going to drink you must make sure that you can get safely home without driving yourself. Check public transport, carpool with a designated sober driver, make arrangements to sleep over at someone’s place etc. Organizers sometimes try to coordinate transportation to get santas safely home. Check the message boards and groups for your local SantaCon to find out if this is being done in your area.
  13. Santa doesn’t talk to the press. Even “Ho-ho-ho” is too dangerous these days.
  14. Santa doesn’t get arrested - please re-read Santa’s “four f**ks” (top) and then read these guidelines one more time.
  15. If you have reached this rule, it means you didn’t get locked into a loop reading the guidelines over and over again as per the previous rule. You are therefore intelligent enough to take part in SantaCon!
  16. Have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

SANTAMOBILE!!!! 

They’ll be back for this year’s Santacon Ft Lauderdale only a week & a half away! Dec 21

lessonslearnedddd:

Voldemort Carols; HERE WE GO!
You better watch out, and hide in a hole.
I’ll reach down your throat and swallow your soul!
Voldemort is coming to town!I’m making a list, of people I hate.
When Dumbledore died, I thought it was great!
Voldemort is coming to town!
I’ll sneak in when you’re sleeping,
and draw dicks on your face,
and if you say my name out loud,
I’ll steal your birthday cake. Oh! (x)

lessonslearnedddd:

Voldemort Carols; HERE WE GO!

You better watch out, and hide in a hole.

I’ll reach down your throat and swallow your soul!

Voldemort is coming to town!

I’m making a list, of people I hate.

When Dumbledore died, I thought it was great!

Voldemort is coming to town!

I’ll sneak in when you’re sleeping,

and draw dicks on your face,

and if you say my name out loud,

I’ll steal your birthday cake. Oh! (x)

fest300:

Are you sick of the same old holiday music? With SantaCon fast approaching, we all need a holiday mashup of epic proportions. This one from DJ Zach Darling mixes up traditional holiday cheer with Pop, Hip Hop, Reggae and Classic Rock for a jolly good sleigh ride of tasty tunes.

This is SantaMash!

laughingsquid:

A Skin-Tight Santa Claus Full Body Spandex Suit

phils-mum-and-llama-placentas:

bangtidyniall:

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

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RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

image

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

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FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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IT’S STARTED

(Source: breakfastburritosattiffanys, via gdog2u)